Thursday

{this crazy, restless, dreaming soul}



 


 

You guys.
Thank you so much.  Your comments on my last post really,
truly made my heart soar.  So, okay.  I'll blog like this and
there may not be much rhythm to it but it will be what it is.

I spent yesterday in a deep, contemplative mode.
My meditations were all over the place,
from church to education to parenting to culture to
why am I so strange and different from everyone else?

After a bit of complaining to God for how odd He made me,
then a bit of thanking Him that He made me unique and
not like everyone else {I know, bipolar conversation with God},
I decided to stop dwelling on it so much and just let things be.

Because you know what?
God made me who I am, He made me one to question the status quo,
He put a sense of wonder, mystery and beauty in my heart,
cultivated it,
made my desire for these things so strong that they just could not be quenched and
He set me down in the time and culture that I am in and
told me to live, to love, to be,
to question, to ponder, and
not to settle,
keep moving forward,
keep pressing on,
keep digging in deeper and deeper
to Him.

And sometimes that means leaving behind everything you have known and
what everyone else accepts,
sometimes that means stepping forward even when people you love
turn their backs.  Sometimes that means loneliness.
Sometimes that means heartache.
But always,
always,
it means knowing His voice and not letting others block it out.

I dream in color,
He paints the mural.
And when others look and see a mess,
He sees His masterpiece coming together,
perfectly,
beautifully.
And so I will be different.
I claim this heart, this mind, this personality, these values, these insights.
They are mine. And I share them with you.

4 comments:

  1. I don't see a mess, I see a beautiful picture being painted :)
    I love the knitted vest your little girl is wearing Amy, Is that one of the one's you knitted? Where did you get the pattern from? It's so pretty.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you suzy! Yes, I knitted two for the twins... here's the link...http://www.pickles.no/plain-vest/. Xx

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  2. I can so identify with this. I am different too. Always have been. I am intense, think to much and very relational and either people really like me or usually really don't. We recently have left a church community and it has not been great. So misunderstood and I had the crazy notion that all the years of relationship would trump any disagreement we had. Not so.
    So I claim this heart, this mind and this person that He crafted me to be and will be at peace with it. Even though others aren't so grateful for who I am ;) I found you through instagram :)

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