Wednesday

to break free

i'm really tired.
really.
tired of experiencing guilt day to day.
of feeling like i'm not enough.
this online world has the capacity to lift up
and encourage but it also has this
dark side that can really drag you down.
before i joined this world of online friendships,
mothering,
homeschooling,
writing,
living,
i kind of had this idea of what i was doing.
i raised my children,
taught them,
loved my husband,
cared for my home and
though i was far from perfect,
i was at peace.
there was no battle in my mind between
what i was doing and what i thought i should be doing.
there was just what i was doing and
was i following God?
usually the answer was yes.
if not,
i made changes and repented.

i have gained so much from the online world.
i have made such beautiful friendships and learned
so many valuable things.  i would never want to change that.
but i do want to change one thing.
the guilt.
i'm tired of the guilt.
i want to go back to being at peace with who i am and
what i do.
to asking am i following God,
and letting that be all that i look to.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i'm overwhelmed and put my children in front of the television. for hours.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when we live like unschoolers for weeks on end.


i'm tired of feeling guilty when i go to bed with a kitchen that is trashed and toys all over the floor.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i don't read the bible with my kids for a month.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i give my kids cereal for breakfast.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i need a break.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when my kids stay up late and there is absolutely no rhythm here.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i let my children run wild and talk back to me.

i'm tired
of feeling
guilty.

so i'm trying to break free.
i'm brushing off everyone else's ideas of right.
i'm cultivating a life of peace.

i'm done with the guilt.

want to break free with me?

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery
Galatians 5:1

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Romans 8:1







6 comments:

  1. Ummm...doesn't everyone give their kids cereal for breakfast?

    But seriously. The only parenting wisdom I have these days is that you've got the parent the kids God gave you, not anyone else's, and certainly not the ones on the glossy pages of the parenting magazines. And rely not on your own understanding, or on Pinterest, or on anything else posted online by anyone who doesn't know you or your kids.

    It's about clinging to Jesus. He is our peace. Much love.

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  2. Um, I gave my children candy before 8 a.m. yesterday! No guilt here.

    And may I just say I look up to you? Cause I do. Such a good mama. AND WHAT THE HECK IS PEARL DOING LOOKING SO GROWN UP!?!?!

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  3. You are doing good, give yourself credit for that ok?
    praying that you will realize all the 'good' you are doing and be at peace with it.

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  4. Don't feel guilty. They're perfect even when they're not, and so are you. For reals! You put CLOTH DIAPERS on your babies! Whaaat? And you feel GUILTY?! And I'm w/ Nance; what's wrong w/ cereal? I feel GREAT when I give my kids cereal for breakfast. I feel guilty when I give my kids POTATO CHIPS for breakfast...and, yes, it really has happened!

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  5. I want to break free with you! I'm feeling the same lately. I'm overwhelmed and my house is a disaster and we're eating Mac n cheese for dinner and I hate feeling like I'm failing at this! Thank you for your honesty. Seriously. We're in it together!

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  6. I am with you, too. Thank you for sharing this. Bringing it to a head, to light. Much love!

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