to fish, scope out poison oak and be ready for spring

so there's this lake nearby and
it is quite majestic.
filled with quiet and calm, we
spend many a day along it's banks.
husband and the kids love fishing and i,
i take those moments to sit and
read, knit, just. take in the beauty of
the place.
{and chase babies and scan for poison oak and
redirect the littles over and over as they try to
venture into the poison oak}
many spring and summer days we go,
we picnic and fish and
embrace slow rhythms of glorious lake.
by the end of summer we are more than ready to
disassemble poles and say goodbye to the
red winged blackbirds, cattails and still of

until the winter begins to fade.
and spring peeks around the corner.
with a bit of a chill we will head back and
begin those long, slow lake days again.
and so this past week we did.
a first lake trip of the year.
nothing biting quite yet,
but the peace,
the stillness,
the air which blows real life,
they were waiting.
and welcomed us.

*speaking of spring being right around the corner,
the spring edition of rhythm of the home is up today and
you can find my piece here.*

to break free

i'm really tired.
tired of experiencing guilt day to day.
of feeling like i'm not enough.
this online world has the capacity to lift up
and encourage but it also has this
dark side that can really drag you down.
before i joined this world of online friendships,
i kind of had this idea of what i was doing.
i raised my children,
taught them,
loved my husband,
cared for my home and
though i was far from perfect,
i was at peace.
there was no battle in my mind between
what i was doing and what i thought i should be doing.
there was just what i was doing and
was i following God?
usually the answer was yes.
if not,
i made changes and repented.

i have gained so much from the online world.
i have made such beautiful friendships and learned
so many valuable things.  i would never want to change that.
but i do want to change one thing.
the guilt.
i'm tired of the guilt.
i want to go back to being at peace with who i am and
what i do.
to asking am i following God,
and letting that be all that i look to.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i'm overwhelmed and put my children in front of the television. for hours.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when we live like unschoolers for weeks on end.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i go to bed with a kitchen that is trashed and toys all over the floor.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i don't read the bible with my kids for a month.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i give my kids cereal for breakfast.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i need a break.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when my kids stay up late and there is absolutely no rhythm here.

i'm tired of feeling guilty when i let my children run wild and talk back to me.

i'm tired
of feeling

so i'm trying to break free.
i'm brushing off everyone else's ideas of right.
i'm cultivating a life of peace.

i'm done with the guilt.

want to break free with me?

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery
Galatians 5:1

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Romans 8:1


to return to the blog and talk about quiet brains

so it's only been two weeks and i am back.
i really missed blogging.
i did not miss facebook and i am not sure if
i will be going back there anytime soon.
two weeks without facebook and this is what
i accomplished...

  • got half of a manuscript written and the proposal {this is the project i was talking about}
  • prayed the hours daily
  • played with my four littles a ton
  • finished two knitting projects
  • finished reading three books i have been trying to finish forever
  • cleaned/simplified/organized/rearranged four rooms
  • spent hours outdoors with kids nearly everyday
and even more than my productivity was this...
my brain was quiet.

i didn't know what everyone was doing and
what everyone thought about everything all day
if someone wanted me to know something,
they called.
we spoke.
and they only told me the things that would matter
to me.
my brain wasn't filled with so much nonsense and clammer.
and because my brain was quiet and not overwhelmed with
random people's lives,
i heard more.
i heard my children's laughter.
i heard the woodpeckers hammering oak trees and
squirrels yelling at each other.
i heard the billion stories my children told me.
i looked in their eyes and they knew i heard them.
i heard husband's unspoken needs and connected with him,
days were beautiful, long, slow, intentional with no
mindless interruptions of nonsense.

do i miss facebook?  not for a second.  


to take a break from it all...

i'll be taking a break of undetermined length from this here blog and facebook.
if you want to stay in contact with me during that time feel free to email me
{you can find my email on my profile page}.
blessings to you friends.


to recap the beauty of a week


this week we...
celebrated moses' third birthday
ran our hands through the cool sand at the beach
spent the days outdoors, playing, laughing, exploring
enjoyed warmer temperatures
ate supper early
prayed for and celebrated a friend's new baby
wrote stories and read them aloud
had many productive learning days
held hands and gave hugs
felt excitement at eldest child's next steps in life
considered quitting facebook and blogging
read and knit of course, a week {day} cannot pass by without them
drank numerous cups of tea
cooked supper for two hours only to screw it up and
have to drive to the store to find something quick, gluten free and healthy
danced in the mornings to elizabeth mitchell
watched a baby/toddler run around, wave, and say "i uh oo" and
sighed, this goes way too fast.
patched up an old quilt
fell into bed completely content

so, how was your week?