Wednesday

to be a black sheep waiting for the broth to cool

my brother once called me the
black sheep of the family.
this is funny,
see,
because typically the black sheep is
the rebellious one,
the outcast,
you know,
the "bad" one.
but i'm the black sheep in my family because
i'm the one who doesn't drink,
i'm the christian,
i homeschool,
i live a simple,
slow life and
that is
contrary to everything everyone else
does and
is.
so,
in my family,
i'm the black sheep.

and i'm okay with that.

i am up late tonight waiting for my
bone broth to cool a bit
before i can refrigerate it and
thinking of this black sheep thing.
it's kind of like when i was spouting off
about being a strange loner in life and
then there's the whole isfj thing where
only 7% of the population is like me.
i'm just different.
always have been.
when i was in kindergarten i had a collection
of aprons and i would wear a different one
to school each day.
no one else wore aprons,
just me.
i just wanted to.
in elementary school i would clash
always.
i didn't care to match my colors.
in high school i sat in coffee shops and
did crossword puzzles while my friends
went to parties and drank.

i guess i was always a black sheep,
with every group i was ever a part of.
even now i'm a black sheep christian
{no, i'm not going into that right now}.
it's just me.
and sometimes it's lonely.
but sometimes it's freeing.
knowing the lemmings are falling off the cliff
and i am dancing in the moonlight.
wishing some other sheep my color would
come and dance by my side.
until then
i will gather my young black sheep and
my love black sheep and
together
we will dance.

this post is what i call free writing.
is it ridiculous? quite possibly.
was it spontaneous? oh yes.
is the bone broth cool? enough.
i'm going to crawl into bed beside
baby black sheep and
hubby black sheep and rest these weary eyes.
i'm so sleepy you can guarantee i
won't have to
count sheep. 


2 comments:

  1. Hugs from afar for one black sheep to another :)

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  2. i relate. i think i qualify as a sheep of a close enough color to dance with you, dear friend. xo

    ReplyDelete