to marry my stalker

*a repost,because tomorrow is 11 years*

he was standing there, in line at the deli
and with just a glimpse i heard God so clearly
the one in line,
would never be out of my life and
18 years old with millions of dreams
brushed it off and went on.

food in hand, he sat in booth near me
calm, motionless
and i,
with friend
felt nerves rise and what was i to do
but hide them and how best to
dispose of the fear rising in me than to
make fun of that which caused my fear...
"look at that guy,"
i remark to dear friend,
"he's totally weird, just sitting there frozen."
(years later,
he tells me he was praying. and i repent,
sorry God for making fun of the praying guy.)

and finally he talks to me,
introducing himself as a christian,
new in town,
he saw our bibles and wanted to meet
some other christians,
and i,
wanting him to disappear,
put on my cheesy-how-nice-i-am-because-i-am-a-christian-and-i-should-be
tell him my name and where my church is,
feel i have done my duty,
and say goodbye.

forgetting him i move on,
trying to get back to MY christian friends,
MY christian culture,
MY christian life,
that he is clearly not a part of...
and then,
for the next week,
i proceed to run into him everywhere i go,
every day.
when he shows up at my church conference,
i smile and then look away.
when he walks up to my friends and i,
i introduce him and then
go find someone else to talk to.
and when one night
he walks with my friends into the cafe where i work,
i begin to hyperventilate,
i grab my best friend and tell him all about God speaking to me,
and how,
i know now what God meant...
this guy would be a huge part of my life because
he was going to
stalk me and kill me.

and i knew it was true...
it had to be...

until my stalker walks up to me,
looks me in the eyes and says,
"why are you so standoffish?"
and i,
never having been insulted in my life,
then smile,
and say,
"i'm not.  i'm the nicest person ever,
everybody says so." and he,
large eyes shining,
"well, you may be the nicest person to everyone else,
but to a new guy in town
just looking for some christians to hang around with,
who only knows one person, and that person is you,
you certainly are very standoffish
and not very nice."

well i can't let him think that,
so i smile and say,
"no i really am nice.
want to hang out?"
and so we do,
after work,
and then every day for the next week.
until he walks into my work one night and
suddenly i know.
i look at my co-worker and
tell her,
"that's the guy i'm going to marry."

stars dancing overhead,
we sit and talk in to the
wee hours of the morning and
he catches my eye by the light of the moon,
quiet voice whispers,
"so, what's God telling you?"
and i just know it's time for me to say
what has been driving me crazy for
"we're going to get married."
and he stares deep into my eyes
and responds, simply,

and so,
4 months later,
4 and a half months after we met,
we exchanged vows in small church,
and God reminded me,
the one in line,
would never be out of my life.

tomorrow we celebrate eleven years.
i haven't stopped thanking God
for my stalker.

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