to dance to the music of the Composer


making music,
dancing along through the days,
each moment,
each step,
not just living, not just surviving,

He is the composer and
each of our lives is
the song,
each simple moment


{and this video which says it so eloquently.
it's so short, take the two minutes to watch...}

now go dance.


to show them how

darkness still dominant out the windows,
we sat by sparkling lights of newly decorated
christmas tree,
five year old twins and i while
the rest of family continued in their early morning
a quiet holiness accompanied us as
i retold them about Jesus,
spoke to them of His sacrifice and love and
they listened,
and i whispered,
"it doesn't matter what is happening in your life
or the world around you,
when people know and love Jesus they
can live in joy, in peace." and Hannah
smiled wide eyed grin,
eyes dancing with the beauty of it all,
but Ruth, her twin,
bore her eyes deep into mine and remarked,
"well, i don't know if i love Jesus."

that mama in me panicked momentarily with thoughts of
oh no, will she never know God?  is this it?
how did this happen?

she began to jump around in the quiet,
giggling and naming things she loved,
"i love crunch bars and
dolls and dolly.  i love
my rope swing and meatloaf!"

my look of anxiety turned quickly into
peace filled smile,
as i realized she did "love" all of those things,
for she was five and
that pint sized beauty did not yet understand
and everything she claimed to love
was superficial and i should truly worry if
she had a superficial love for Christ as
she did for candy and toys.

for now she knew He was good.
she knew there was something different about Him
that did not fit into a category with
rope swings,
and she knew that all she "loved" was given to her
by Him.
and how would she learn what love truly was?
how would she learn to love Him?
by the love we have for each other.
by loving Him ourselves.
by offering thanks and praise for all things to
the Giver.
by demonstrating compassion and grace and
all the attributes He has.
we would love Him.
we would love her.
and she will love.

it's okay that she doesn't know if she loves Jesus.
i'm pretty sure He gets it.



to write elsewhere

the winter edition of rhythm of the home is up today and
you can read my little pouring out of words right here.

hope your days are beautiful...


to reflect on winter's calm

we spend the day after thanksgiving
decorating our winter mantle,
exchanging the oranges, yellows and reds
for whites, light blues and the shimmery quiet
that belongs to the season of calm.

a winter mantle is cloaked in simplicity,
a mixture of rest and christmas,
a time of reflection and expectation,
and as i store away autumn's awesomeness and
retrieve winter's offerings long been laid to rest i
with pandora's indie holiday station keeping me company,
i adorn this home for the season to come,

allowing children to partake as only children will and
ignoring the fact that as i hang a bunting begging
for snow,
imagining cuddling by the fire with my kiddos,
cocoas and piles of books while
snow softly blankets the ground outside,
it is currently 75 degrees outside and snow is
unheard of in our coastal town.

and yet i dream and wait,
as only a chronic dreamer can,
i prepare and anticipate and
welcome christmas,
welcome the last weeks of autumn,
welcome the coming of a winter marked by sunshine,
a winter wishing for snow.


to have a screech owl in my dining room for just. a. moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

linking here


to be alone in a sea of "friends"

her cell phone rings endlessly,
phone calls, text messages, notifications and
she always has it
in her hand,
so careful not to miss
a thing.

and we share hearts
over coffee
but her heart is cut down center,
between me
in front of her
and that vast array of "friends"
on her handheld.

and i pull out my bow and begin to
play on her heart strings
hoping to make music
of beauty and friendship while
her other world keeps distracting her,
status updates, messages,
and our symphony sounds flat

not once has she smiled,
a canyon between us
and i ask her what's wrong,
she looks at me,
eyes glossy with internal turmoil
tells me
she feels so alone,
so alone

and what do i say?
how do i show her she's given her life
to devices made by man
instead of sharing her life with man
and i tell her to watch the door,
a man approaching from the outside
about to enter
talking on his phone
and a woman about to leave
talking on hers
and she pulls the door open,
and they both scoot by each other,
brushing shoulders,
they don't even look at one another...

i ask,
did you see that?
without those phones,
he would have held the door for her,
let her pass,
they would have said hello,
or excuse me,
or at least smiled at each other,
but cell phones have killed manners,

and i tell her she feels alone
because the majority of her interaction
is with a phone
or computer,
and those devices cannot make you feel loved,
cannot strum your heart strings,
cannot smile at you
or touch your hand,
or hug you...

and i don't want to be condemning,
i tell her they're not bad,
it's our usage of them,
the attention that we can give them,
that can be bad,
and if we are using them
more than we are interacting with others,
then we might be destroying ourselves
just a little bit,
and our loneliness will grow...

and she looks at me,
puts her phone in her purse,
smiles sheepishly
and says,
"hi, i'm ava.  it's so nice to meet you."
and i look at this young girl i've known
for two years,
and say,
"nice to meet you too."

and we drink coffee,
and share hearts,
and make a symphony
of beauty and friendship.

*photos from a winter long past.  i couldn't resist them.*


to have a moment with a deliciously cute baby and quesadilla

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
linking with soulemama


to kill the clock and dream deeply

Darkness had long fallen when my head
lay on soft pillow down,
arms wrapped gently around the babe with
husband close on my other side and
it was only eight.  It has been a week
since we changed our clocks along with
most of the country and yet,
our little ones are falling asleep by six and
we are all waking around five for
we have not yet had a reason to join the
new time.
Husband still off of work,
and still without a church to attend,
we have no need for time these days so
our bodies have been ready to sleep earlier and
ready to wake earlier and
we have just been embracing that.

Because, really,
why does the clock matter so much?
{Yes I know the practical, so we are on time,
so we are all in sync with one another} but why
do we allow it to rule so much of our lives?
There is such peace in letting everything flow
waking when you have slept enough and sleeping
when your eyes are heavy,
knowing what comes next,
and just moving into that as simply as
the tide crashes upon the shore and then
pulls back out to sea.

Husband has been home for five weeks now and
I am feeling anxious about his impending return to work.
He works for the man,
you know the one,
and we have always desired to bring him home,
to work together from home in some way,
that instead of working for the man he can work
for himself,
for his family and
having him here these weeks has given us a taste.
A taste of that family togetherness and work ethic which
includes daddy and
a taste of life lived simply, naturally without needing to
answer to a clock and
in another week or so all of that will change and
I just don't want it to.
Another woman recently told me that usually when a husband
is home for an extended period of time he hates it and
the wife hates it.  This just made me sad.
My husband and I have embraced this time and don't want it
to end.
We want to carry on together,
raising children,
tending land,
feeding chickens,
taking photos,
creating with our hands, our minds,
loving people,
feeding people,

And so we will move slowly through the next week,
not answering to a clock but to our own
our needs,
we will flow,
and we will dream and
maybe one of these days we will wake up and
our dreams will be true...


to share a song for your saturday

i. love. music.
i think it is a beautiful gift from God and
when you find the really good stuff
you just need to share.
so that's what i'm going to do on saturdays.
{share some with me too, i love finding new bands}

Josh White- Our God is Present


to marry my stalker

*a repost,because tomorrow is 11 years*

he was standing there, in line at the deli
and with just a glimpse i heard God so clearly
the one in line,
would never be out of my life and
18 years old with millions of dreams
brushed it off and went on.

food in hand, he sat in booth near me
calm, motionless
and i,
with friend
felt nerves rise and what was i to do
but hide them and how best to
dispose of the fear rising in me than to
make fun of that which caused my fear...
"look at that guy,"
i remark to dear friend,
"he's totally weird, just sitting there frozen."
(years later,
he tells me he was praying. and i repent,
sorry God for making fun of the praying guy.)

and finally he talks to me,
introducing himself as a christian,
new in town,
he saw our bibles and wanted to meet
some other christians,
and i,
wanting him to disappear,
put on my cheesy-how-nice-i-am-because-i-am-a-christian-and-i-should-be
tell him my name and where my church is,
feel i have done my duty,
and say goodbye.

forgetting him i move on,
trying to get back to MY christian friends,
MY christian culture,
MY christian life,
that he is clearly not a part of...
and then,
for the next week,
i proceed to run into him everywhere i go,
every day.
when he shows up at my church conference,
i smile and then look away.
when he walks up to my friends and i,
i introduce him and then
go find someone else to talk to.
and when one night
he walks with my friends into the cafe where i work,
i begin to hyperventilate,
i grab my best friend and tell him all about God speaking to me,
and how,
i know now what God meant...
this guy would be a huge part of my life because
he was going to
stalk me and kill me.

and i knew it was true...
it had to be...

until my stalker walks up to me,
looks me in the eyes and says,
"why are you so standoffish?"
and i,
never having been insulted in my life,
then smile,
and say,
"i'm not.  i'm the nicest person ever,
everybody says so." and he,
large eyes shining,
"well, you may be the nicest person to everyone else,
but to a new guy in town
just looking for some christians to hang around with,
who only knows one person, and that person is you,
you certainly are very standoffish
and not very nice."

well i can't let him think that,
so i smile and say,
"no i really am nice.
want to hang out?"
and so we do,
after work,
and then every day for the next week.
until he walks into my work one night and
suddenly i know.
i look at my co-worker and
tell her,
"that's the guy i'm going to marry."

stars dancing overhead,
we sit and talk in to the
wee hours of the morning and
he catches my eye by the light of the moon,
quiet voice whispers,
"so, what's God telling you?"
and i just know it's time for me to say
what has been driving me crazy for
"we're going to get married."
and he stares deep into my eyes
and responds, simply,

and so,
4 months later,
4 and a half months after we met,
we exchanged vows in small church,
and God reminded me,
the one in line,
would never be out of my life.

tomorrow we celebrate eleven years.
i haven't stopped thanking God
for my stalker.


to plug my daughter...

my ten year old, layla
just opened her own etsy shop.
she's selling her photos...