Monday

to break the circle

he holds me and i remember days gone by
when i was young and naive
but knew
Truth and beauty,
and when others told me i was foolish
i knew we were right.
they filled me with religious jargon,
telling me i was finding the love of the world
that i was not following God.
and i kept myself away from them and
their biting stares,
their behind my back prayers for me to
stop following the world's ways,
to seek God again,
when i was actually seeking Him more
than ever before.
i knew His voice,
followed His leading,
they just didn't like where it lead,
so they reasoned,
it must not be from Him.

and whispers are like knives
when you know they are about you
and smiles tear apart souls when
you know the thoughts behind them,
and how can we be one body,
in one accord,
when we rip people apart who don't follow
our ideas of right.

none of us have the right idea of right,
only He knows right,
and we need Him.

there is no good apart from Him,
no truth removed,
and when we think we understand it all,
have the proper formula down,
that's when we are walking closer to them
than Him.

and i think He mourns when He watches us,
His children,
bickering and whispering,
"praying" for each other heartless, insincere prayers,
"knowing" our ways are the only way,
and He speaks it,
"remember, My way is the only way."
but we are condemning too loudly to 
hear His voice

and it happened to me
and i cried,
lonely,
why don't they see i know Him,
i am following Him,
this is what He wants me to do,
and i was bitter and sad,
and yet,
watch me bleed out repentance,
for i have done it too,
whispered and prayed
for those not following my ways,
and it's a sick circle,
and Lord please help us break it



9 comments:

  1. Amen. to all of this. thank you, Amy.

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  2. Always good writing... keep it up you are doing well.

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  3. we are neighbors at Jen’s...oh oh...I have known this...and actually still living this to a degree without the pain...when i was “shunned”...this is where I saw me...my arrogance... my wrong prayers...oh the breaking of my heart...and I plead...may I never , never pray for another...judge another with such arrogance in my heart.blessings to you and thanks for writing this~

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  4. Welcome to SDG! Your post is so beautifully raw and so full of that which He actually desires for us -- to really seek and know Him and LOVE each other. You are right -- so often we preach that we hear God, but what we really are hearing is our own self, indulging us in what we want. May we always check ourselves against His Word and His love.

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    1. This is your first post at SDG? Sisters! You've got to get to know Amy! She's a beautiful soul. And a darned good writer.

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  5. I have an elderly aunt, one who knows her King James inside and out, and whose theology I always assumed was black and white. I was absolutely stunned one day when I was visiting her and she said, "Who knows, when we get to heaven, how much we'll find out we were wrong about?" I think that was a beautifully humble statement about how much of what we think we understand is beyond our ability to grasp.

    Lovely post, friend. You know, the usual.

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  6. Amy this is beautiful. coming over from SDG community and so glad to find your writing.

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  7. I have been on this journey too :)
    You have written it all out so very beautifully here friend :)

    xx

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