to be a strange loner of a person

i'm just strange.
i don't fit in anywhere,
never have,
though the reasons have changed.

i don't fit in with women with kids my three oldest's ages
because i am so young.
i don't fit in with women the same age as me
because i have kids too old.
i don't fit in with typical evangelical christians
because i think too differently.
i don't fit in with the intelligentsia, thinkers, philosophers
because, well, i'm christian.
i don't fit in with other moms
because i have too many kids.
i don't fit in with other large family moms
because i don't wear jumpers and i'm not conservative enough.
i don't fit in with the conservative christian crowd
because i have too many tattoos.
i don't fit in with the tattooed crowd
because i believe in the Bible, family and educating my children at home.
i don't fit in with my family {mother, siblings- though i love them to pieces}
because i'm christian and they think everything i do is crazy.
i don't fit in with fast paced modern people
because i am slow, intentional and could {and will} live my entire life without an iphone.


now you know the ugly truth.
a loner.
will you be my friend? :)

*don't forget to go enter my giveaway for the organic family cookbook!!!


  1. well, I'm just glad you're not a robot. :)
    I miss you. Can you email me your address please?

    1. hahahahaha!!!!! poor moses... he is a robot. yep, i'll do that.

  2. You belong to this body of Christ!

    And I'm not trying to be wierd, and I don't know you, but I love you!

  3. yes, what anonymous said! and i have always been such a loner too... but i am trying to look for similarities instead of differences as of late, and it's really helping me to not feel so unusual. i love your new fb photo !! you all are so cute :)

  4. You are just perfect! I love all that you are. We would be friends, great buds...but I am much older than you. But I'm so young thinking because of my five teens. We text (I on my I-trak)(get it!). We joke and laugh and accept.
    I know what you mean though. Who is in their 40's with 13 children...but 9 at home? Who is past their mid 40's with a 3 and 6 year old and who just had a miscarriage not so long ago? Who stays home like me? With no fancy stuff. No cable, no fancy phone, and an oldsmobile that lost the 'smobile' part so it simple says 'old'. !!

    I don't wear jumpers and am not caught up in the conservative fit I once embraced--covering and all. I want church where I meet Jesus there and He changes me and I tell everyone how awesome he is.

    How many midwives do you know? Yep, I'm one that doesn't charge but God blesses however He wants. Cool--yes, but also very unusual.
    I can't do facebook because it's claws pull me in and it's words hurt my sensitive heart. I blog but feel extreme guilt over it.

    I know God wants me to do what your blog is called...'to love'. But I am sucky at it. I mean, i grew up in a non affectionate home and so it's still hard for me to touch and affirm kids who don't climb up in my lap. My husband is awesome at it though, so maybe that will help our kids feel it. I love change but I feel like no one else does.

    I try but can't seem to stay away from sugar. I love healthy food, but down a pop daily...because my dear husband is having one and offering to buy me one.

    I don't have a problem with tatoos, but don't have any. If i was in the younger set I would because it's just body art and everyone has them. I just missed that trend is all. My big kids have em.

    So you see, my sweet young pioneering Jesus loving little sister...we are different but not so much. And our differences make us awesome! And so we walk to our own God inspired quirky beat. Gotta love us!

    Sorry about the novel. I do like words a bit too much.

    1. you make me so happy pam! i know we would be fast friends. you are such a beautiful person. and it is true, that our differences make us awesome. i know it. sometimes i just feel so out there though... but you are right. there is so much beauty in this body. with all the differences, all the quirkiness, all the unique stuff. your words lift me up.

  5. You know I think in many ways Jesus was a loner too, he was unique and didn't move to anyone's plan but the one he already knew. He was not easily swayed and he really didn't even try to fit in, so think of yourself unique, and wonderful and a follower and 'I do like you and your blog'. (even if I am old enough to be your mother) :o}

  6. my hubby told one of our friends something lately that applies ...we chose our journey & we are loving it...even though it means living in Ukraine w/ 11 of our 12 kids....learning a new language to communicate...we are hoping & praying Jesus will allow us to serve his little ones...some way. we don't fit in so well either & that's ok...the One whose opinion really matters is with us

  7. i want to be your friend!! sans tatoos, check, check, scribed my heart!
    i'm lauren, it has been so sweet stopping here the few times that i have.
    the Lord Jesus's blessings to you, dear amy!

  8. I am so very much your friend Amy!
    I am the same as your for all those reasons :)
    Wish I could give you a hug dear one :)

  9. Honey, you've pretty much written my life down up there. Maybe not quite - but dang close. No tattoos, no home schooling - but matching others? Nope. Always not quite. And you know what? It's an okay place to be. You are just fine, Amy. And I'd love to be your friend.

  10. I cried when read these words. I have thought about them every day. I am crying now. Funny isn't when words touch you on the inside and you find yourself nodding and crying and feeling and understanding and and sorrow all mixed up the same time.

    I am still amazed at I too old! ....of the power of words to bring life or destroy.

    I met a lady a while ago who was new to our church. They moved to the area. They have 5 me. She said to me I am usually friends with people your age because of my chidren's ages but now that I have moved I am going to make friends with people my own age age. As I have turned those words over in my mind and replied in my head with forgivness and a prayer that she did not mean to hurt with her words, I still find myself shocked and amazed. Soemone said to me recently that new lady felt on the fringes of the church without deep relationships.

    I would have been her friend and shared my soul.

    so you sweet lady, have brought a bit a healing to me by sharing yourself...I have been reading a while.

    I would love to walk the beach with you and your children or ask you all over for a meal...yes, all of you at the same time...or sit and make window stars..have you made them?

    I'll keep praying for the pennies because I am in the UK

    with deep appreciation

  11. Hi.So much fun reading about The Loner:) There are at least two of them, I am included:)
    Living in Norway, do not home school, but have 5 children, and do not fit in amongst the other sheep. I do not have an iphone, and never will:)Hate plastic love wool, agree?:)

    You are not riding the road alone:)