Friday

to wonder why

sometimes i wonder about stuff i
shouldn't wonder about and
get all anxious-like from
wondering about that stuff.

it's usually that nagging,
unanswerable question
"why?"
and i wonder why this happened or
that didn't happen or
why they have and i don't or
i have and they don't or
why there are things
{so many, many things} we
just don't understand and
never will
this side of
Heaven.
 and some people wonder why i
write in verse and
why i have run on sentences that
lack in
capital letters and
then some people wonder why i
write at all.
most people wonder why i have
so many children and
everyone wonders if
we are done and
i wonder why
they care.


my mama who is quite confused about God,
often asks me why,
if God is good and
is a loving Father,
why does He... _______?
{fill in the blank} and
i ask her
"how many times in my childhood
did you say something to me
and i asked you 
why
and you responded,
'i'm your mother, i know
best and
you wouldn't understand.'?"

i was always told that when you are asked
why,
because is not
an answer.
but as i have grown to know Him,
and as i have questioned Him
why
so many times,
because makes sense to me.
sometimes because is
the only
right answer.
 
 

so i'm going to try to ask why less.
i'm going to try to just
accept.
why are we going through this God?
because.
why do they have more than us?
because.
why do we have more than them?
because.
why do i hurt?
because.
why do i write the way i do?
because.
why do we have so many children?
because.
why?
because.

6 comments:

  1. YES. I am trying to do the same. To trust...sheep like :)

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  2. I was just thinking about this same stuff tonight :)

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  3. I love this and really needed to read it, just now. I've definitely been in a season of many "whys," and I feel like God just keeps telling me to trust Him. I've come to understand that faith and trust are two different things. For me, faith is simpler. Faith is: I believe You are there; I believe You sent Your Son to shed His blood and die for me; I believe You have a plan for my life; I believe you will work all things to my good. My faith doesn't waver. But trust, for me, is more moment-by-moment and in the day. My trust can be, and has been, broken. My trust can be, and has been, withdrawn.

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  4. Because. Sums it all up. Good enough for me, because it's good enough for God.
    Your thoughts spilling out are lovely. Keep it up. Don't let anyone discourage or question you. Just say, "because" and smile up at God!

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  5. I have been here and I am here and I have found... am finding my own way of reconciliation :)
    God is my Father, He loves me. That is all I know.
    Right now it is enough.
    Amy you write my heart.
    And please keep the "run on sentences that
    lack in
    capital letters"
    They are beautiful, unique, imprinted with soul.
    xx

    ReplyDelete