to wonder about grace

"amazing grace how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
i once was lost but now am found
was blind but now i see"

i had heard the song throughout my childhood,
it was one of those songs that you just could sing,
like "we will rock you" or "love shack",
just one of those songs everyone knew,
but i never really understood it.
i only knew two definitions of the word grace,
one was a name,
the other meant delicate,
and so i thought this song was about a girl named grace.
a very heroic girl
who found a lost person,
and somehow helped this person to gain sight...?
i don't know.
didn't make much sense to me either,
but that's what it meant in my mind,
and apparently it was a very famous song
so it made sense to lots and lots of people.

i was seventeen when i finally learned what it meant.
yes, seventeen.
but when i was fifteen i sang the song on the sidewalk at school
with a girl i knew,
we raised our voices together and harmonized beautifully,
and she,
being a christian,
knew what we were singing about,
and you could hear her passion and heartfelt cries,
and i,
thinking i was singing about strange superhuman girl
didn't care at all,
just wanted to sing.

when i say i thought that's what the song was about until i was seventeen,
i'm absolutely serious.
then God found me,
hiding behind shaved head, punk rock clothes,
and scars,
and i got it,
i understood the words of the song,
this grace was not a superhuman girl,
it was that which washed me clean and
dried my tears,
and suddenly,
though i had never known i was blind,
i could finally see.
and all else fell into place,
and there was just this
above all others,
this one word...



"once was lost, 
but now am found,
 was blind,
but now

*been busy working on a writing project this week, not much time to write here, 
so this is a slightly edited repost.  love you friends!*