Thursday

to pause

i have begun three posts in the past week
and i just looked at all of them
and each one began with
"i'm tired".
that must tell you something.
but i'm in this funk and
i can't get out of it and having the funkness
constantly rolling around in my head
makes me tired.
see,
there's so much stuff.
there's these articles i'm writing for my brother's
website,
and he pays me,
so it's good for me to do
but it takes time
and
there's this book i've been writing
for forever and
i gave up on it awhile ago,
but my older children are really trying to motivate me
to finish it,
so i've been trying to write that,
and there's my random thoughts that
i have always had to write down or
else they drive me batty,
you know,
those ramblings of verse that
pour from me and
sometimes
say something...

all that writing.
and it's good because i have to write
or else
my mind doesn't stop but
then there's these beautiful children too and
my amazing, hard working husband,
books to read the children,
children to teach to read,
nature to breathe in,
games to play,
food to cook,
home to keep {relatively} clean,
love
to give...

and so,
what does all this mean?
just that,
i'm tired and
something has to go...
and so when i look at all this stuff
and at what is the least important,
it just happens to be here,
this space...
and even though i have to write
as i
have to breathe,
i can scribble on paper when i'm outdoors
with my children,
or snuggling on the couch,
but to constantly come to this here computer
and leave my family to
write my brain
is exhausting and takes me away
from what is real.

no,
i'm not leaving my blog.
yes,
i'll still write some and
post pictures more,
but i'm just not going to be here
as often.
and i'm not going to comment on your blog
as often.
i have this life to live,
these kids to love,
this home to continue creating,
this husband to adore,
this dinner to cook and
this book to write.
so,
i'll be here,
just not as much.

instead,
i'll be here...

love y'all.

{for the time being i will probably just be posting a this moment on fri., maybe yarn along and maybe a daybook once a week.  we will see.  thanks for being understanding friends!}

8 comments:

  1. First, I feel ya. I've been very, very tired lately, and I just want to plant vegetables and paint. But then I start to miss my bloggy friends. Second, I'm so dang jealous, Miss Ostrich and co. ate dinner at your house. I wanna eat dinner at your house! And dance around like your kids with my hands in the air.

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    Replies
    1. i know. i'll be around so i won't have to miss ya. i want you to eat dinner at mt house and dance around. so, come!

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  2. Yours is one of my favorite blogs to follow... sad... but I understand.

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    Replies
    1. thank you. i will be around. not going forever :)

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  3. Oh, honey-pie, I'm AMAZED that you've done as much writing here as you have. I love what you put here - but I totally get your need to pull back for a while. That's a very, very full plate you've got there. Many blessings as you juggle it all.

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  4. Go with your peace Amy. And your love. You always do, and that is why you inspire me :)
    xx

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