when i had my first child 9 1/2 years ago,
someone told me to never let her sleep with me,
i might roll on top of her and
it would create bad habits.
just to let her cry,
let her learn to soothe herself,
that she needs to know she cannot
someone told me to nurse her on a schedule,
not to feed her more often,
not to let her fall asleep nursing,
not to let nursing be her comfort,
and that she didn't need breast milk
for more than six months.
and as a new mother,
when my wee one wouldn't sleep and
every time i would put her in her crib she
and i nursed her and kept her wrapped in my arms
and she slept,
we slept together,
baby and mama,
i felt such. guilt.
someone had told me,
had warned me,
and here i was holding my precious baby,
sleeping with her in my arms,
and i felt like i was a failure.
but i wasn't.
and slowly, as i responded to my baby,
and she grew attached to me,
and i to her,
and she knew that in me she had comfort,
i knew it was right.
sorry to that someone,
but i have never looked back...
six babies later and i have slept with them all,
nursed them all until they were done,
and picked them up and loved them,
held them, comforted them
when they cried.
and they are attached to me,
and i to them,
as it should be.
i don't want my babies to learn to self-soothe,
i want them to know they can trust their mama and daddy,
that we will always be there,
always come to them,
i want them to know they cannot do it on their own,
that comfort lies not within,
in God and that He
is always there,
and that when they are in need
and they cry,
He will wrap them in His arms and impart the most perfect
of all comfort,
He will lift them up...
and if we don't teach them to love, to trust,
by showing them they can love,
they can trust
and their love and trust will not come back to them void,
then they may only look to self,
for they were made to self-soothe.