Saturday

song for saturday

i. love. music.
i think it is a beautiful gift from God and
when you find the really good stuff
you just need to share.
so that's what i'm going to do on saturdays.
{share some with me too, i love finding new bands}


mariee sioux- flowers and blood
i never asked for to find my twin, but there you are

no, i never asked for to find my twin, but there you are

and i never asked for the spools to unspin, but there they roll

no, i never asked for the spools to unspin, but there they roll

i never asked for to carve your ribs, but here i go

and i never asked for to carve your ribs, but here i go

and i've never pleaded for a new skin as i do now

i've never pleaded for a new skin as i do now



oh, flowers and blood

build up a new me of flowers and blood

flowers and blood

build up a new me of flowers and blood

build up a new me of flowers and blood

flowers and blood



i'll shoot me a gun made of leaf and branch in this here town

i'll shoot me a gun made of leaf and branch in this here town

and eat me a bowl full of secret and mud, yes, i will

i'll eat eat me a bowl full of secret and mud, yes, i will

if you build up a new me of flowers and blood -- say you will

build up a new me of flowers and blood -- say you will

and i'll see you a baby of drying clay, so don't you cry

i'll see you a baby of drying clay, so don't you cry



oh, flowers and blood

build up a new me of flowers and blood

flowers and blood

build up a new you of flowers and blood

build up a new us of flowers and blood

run us a river of flowers and blood

flowers and blood

build up a new us of flowers and blood

build up a new us of flowers and blood

oh, run us a river of flowers and blood

run us a river of flowers and blood

oh, flowers and blood

Tuesday

just because...

 just because these eyes stare up at me everyday...


just because this mouth yawns and makes me swoon...


just because this boy draws so intently, so focused...


just because this girl surprises me, beautifully, every day...



just because my home is adorned with nature...


just because this boy is growing, and wants to clean, and makes a mess while he's cleaning...





just because i knit this, i finally finished this vest for miss pearl...




just because she looks like this in it...
 



just because my home is filled with joy, and books and adventures...


and just because i received this gift from this dear friend...


just because i'm reading this beloved book again...


and just because this is my baby girl...
 

i'm smiling, i'm giving thanks, i. can. breathe.

Saturday

song for saturday

i. love. music.
i think it is a beautiful gift from God and
when you find the really good stuff
you just need to share.
so that's what i'm going to do on saturdays.
{share some with me too, i love finding new bands}

 Moondoggies -Undertaker
Oh when that old world died
I went looking for a place to hide
And with no one to confide
And this loneliness I can't fight
I ain't bettin' on a worried hand
I keep walkin' through the worried land
I ain't bettin' on a losin' hand

Ooooh-ooh-ooh

I do not fear the Undertaker
When he comes to
Lay my soul down
Lay my soul down
Oh touch the hands of those behind
Passerbys gonna sing goodbyes
To those who fear
Hold on sweet dears
Nothin's gonna change how you dream
There's no way home
Wander down old days
Wander still on old ways
Still as ever

I'll do whatever it takes to set my heart free
I'll do whatever it takes to set my heart free
I'll do whatever it takes to set my heart free
To set my heart free

Words get overused
Lose all meaning too
Oh I've been such a fool
So I've been told
So I've been told

I'll do whatever it takes to set my heart free
I'll do whatever it takes to set my heart free

Oooh-oooh-ooooh Oooh-ooh-ooh Oooh-ooh-ooh
Oooh-oooh-ooooh Oooh-ooh-ooh Oooh-ooh-ooh

Oh when that old world died
I went looking for a place to hide

Thursday

simple living, loving

these days...


















been reading lots of children's novels,
myself.
i get on kicks where i read them
because they're just fun and simple...
just good reading.
finished wildwood {which i loved},
now onto return to goneaway,
{i read the first, goneaway lake,
on my last children's novel marathon}
pearl giggles and rolls over now and
moses is becoming such a big boy.
we've headed out to the lake a couple times,
to fish,
and it's so quiet, so peaceful there.

been cooking lots for family,
friends,
strangers.
i got a new coffee table at a thrift store and
there was a young couple,
travelers,
there
counting change to try and buy a new coat,
and my husband offered to give them a leather jacket he had
at home,
and they came over;
we made them dinner and gave them company,
a jacket and new shoes,
coffee and breakfast and
moses played with their dogs,
made them look through all of our photo albums
and cried when his
"new friends" left the next morning,
and isn't this what it's about?
this,
living the gospel,
caring for others' needs,
sharing lives and conversation,
breaking bread and
playing?
isn't this how we live it out,
how we love?

"Christ's ministry to this impoverished, captive, blinded
and oppressed world must, in one way or another, also
be ours.  Many of us have been given a most remarkable
tool through which to minister- the miracle of a Christian home.
I am firmly convinced that if Christians would open their homes
and practice hospitality as defined in Scripture, we could signifcantly
alter the fabric of society.  We could play a major role in its
spiritual, moral and emotional redemption."
-Karen Mains, Open Heart Open Home 


Tuesday

only in california

 welcome to the trees in my yard...

massive oaks



pine

palm trees?


only in california.

TREES
by: Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918)
      THINK that I shall never see
      A poem lovely as a tree.
       
      A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
      Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
       
      A tree that looks at God all day,
      And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
       
      A tree that may in Summer wear
      A nest of robins in her hair;
       
      Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
      Who intimately lives with rain.
       
      Poems are made by fools like me,
      But only God can make a tree.





























Monday

to speak of words, writing, brokenness

 Girl with ache deep inside searches for words to
pour over her,
an ointment soothing wounds,
mending scars.
And her pain is my song,
the one I sang for years when cuts ran up and down arms
and tears were the only regular nourishment I had,
when heart was frozen, icy pond in bleakest winter cold
and voices that tried to help made head pound.
Played on damaged heart strings, a melody of broken sounds,
my song
and I hear the music again,
pouring forth from her desperate soul,
longing to give her Peace words,
but I, like Moses, am of ineloquent speech,
my words burst out a jumbled mess,
never saying what I meant to say.
I turn to only tool I know,
pen and paper,
and I write the story I know best,
my own,
and I end it with the only Hope there is,
His,
the only real happy ending,
which has made me this mosaic that I am.
And she reads words my mouth cannot speak,
her teary-eyed stare linking us, two broken lives joined
by words of common heartache and redemption.
I do not know why I write,
why He has made my heart speak in ink,
I only know that I must,
and so,
I do.

Saturday

song for saturday

{let me preface this by saying i am super overwhelmed by the response i received on my last post,
i had no idea people would receive my words as they did.  i am humbled and thank you all.  i have been praying for many of you, for the stories you shared and the hurt you have experienced.  things need to change.  let's be His hands.}

i. love. music.
i think it is a beautiful gift from God and
when you find the really good stuff
you just need to share.
so that's what i'm going to do on saturdays.
i started last saturday with one of my favorite artists,
alela diane,
and today i share this amazing husband and wife duo
jenny & tyler


jenny & tyler song for you

my voice you didn’t know, didn’t know
i called you had to go, had to go
back to your little world
where nothing is strange

you set out on your own, on your own
you said, i’m heading home, heading home
back to the life you know
neatly arranged

I have done for you
everything my love
hear my song for you
I will not hold my tongue

it’s late, your getting cold, getting cold
you try to keep warm, but you’re alone, you’re alone
the dark streets are empty now | and the wind starts to blow

I have done for you
everything my love
hear My song for you
I will not hold my tongue
open your heart, open your heart
for I have loved you from the start
I will never harm you, come my love
So come
So come

I have done for you
everything my love
hear My song for you
I will not hold my tongue
open your heart, open your heart
for I have loved you
open your heart, open your heart
for I have loved you from the start

Thursday

on serving, giving and caring



he had a kid when he was 15.
and though he knew most guys would have nothing to do with it,
the thought never crossed his mind.
this boy was his and
he would love him, raise him, be a father,
though a child himself.
and so he never went back to school again,
he started working a full time job,
minimum wage,
renting an apartment and caring for his child
and the child's mother
whom,
soon after remarked that
she wasn't ready to be a mother,
she still wanted to be a child,
and signed over custody to him and
disappeared.

and so he worked,
and cared for his child,
never getting ahead,
never moving up,
just.
working.
as hard as anyone could.
then came the day,
four years later,
when he cried out to the God who is there,
and He answered.


a new creation,
he continued working,
now with a focus on getting to know Him
deeply,
intimately.
and he met this girl,
and this girl was me,
and they got married and she became a mom
to his son at 19.
and he worked,
and they worshiped,
and loved.

but life was hard,
young, married, and
yet they knew the church would be His hands,
and maybe the church could hold them up
until they were able to stand...

and the church was raising money to buy a big building,
sending money overseas to their sent missionaries,
and the church embraced this young family,
showered them with smiles and greetings and
lots of "how are you brother/sister? well,
praise the Lord!"
and the church had a picnic,
and the picnic was at a nearby lake,
and everyone should drive there after church,
and it cost $10 to park.
and were we going, they asked.
and shame faced, but
knowing this was the point, this was how the church was supposed to be,
these were the ways we were supposed to help,
to be Him for each other,
she answered,
"no.  we don't have money for gas,
or the money to pay for parking." and
they looked embarrassed at her,
looked away and said
oh well maybe you can make it to the next one.

and as the church moved closer to purchasing it's building,
he went to a bible study where the pastor spoke of giving,
of caring for the poor and needy,
pastor asked for volunteers to go with him to the soup kitchen and
help feed the hungry once a month.
pastor read scripture on how this was our duty
as followers of Christ
to feed the hungry...
and he,
father at 15,
he who dropped out of school to work full time
but couldn't find good work to care for his family
because he had no education,
who was completely devoted to Christ,
who was a leader in the church,
who gave to those in need whenever he could,
and yet who couldn't pay rent this month and
his electricity was close to getting turned off and
there was almost no food in his house to feed his family,
he finally decided to speak up,
to share his need,
and he told them his family didn't have enough food to last
until the next pay day and he was
worried about their house...

and everyone was silent,
everyone.
all those Christ followers,
all those who had just been so pumped up
to volunteer to feed the hungry,
looked embarrassed and,
finally,
the pastor spoke...
"well, um, let's pray for you."
and so they did.
and moved on to the next subject.


when the father and husband rose to leave,
the pastor ran out after him,
something in his hands.
"here brother,
have a steak." and
he handed him a miniscule
steak.
and left.

i feel sorrow,
in caring for the poor and needy we in the church
often neglect those at home,
and when it comes to those IN the church,
we so often just ignore it.
when need is presented to us,
when it is right in our face,
we can't take it,
we look away,
we 
are 
ashamed.
we will go feed the homeless,
but our brothers and sisters,
well,
we will pray for them.

***this happened years ago, and though i know not all churches would respond in this way,
it gives us something to think about... how do we treat the needy in our church, the needy amongst us,
when their needs are presented to us?***

delete

sometimes i write things that make such perfect sense
to my crazy little mind,
and based on people's responses i can tell
i must not have made much sense
because they're just not picking up what
i am putting down.

and so i delete.
a lot.
i guess you could say i am a chronic deleter.
so when you are missing a post,
that is why.
i've always struggled with words,
usually writing them down helps them come out
more thoughtful than
if i just say them
{you don't want to be around for me spouting off
at the mouth}
but sometimes,
even my written word
can lose it's point.

and so i delete.
come back in ten minutes,
this post will probably be gone too.

Wednesday

knitting, reading and loving

these simple days,
we read, play, learn, bake and love.
pearl is already 2 1/2 months old and
i cannot
believe it.

i'm still knitting this vest,
and i am so so close to being finished.

i bought wildwood to read with the kids but
we had just begun reading watership down and no one wanted to stop,
and it had already been decided to read the hobbit next
because one of my three oldest (8 year old josiah) has not read it yet
and wants to read it before the movie comes out in december,
so i was just sitting there looking at wildwood,
thinking how long it would be until we got around to reading it,
and then the eldest, ian, picked it up and read it,
and once he finished i was looking at it again,
again thinking about how long it would be and so,
i just decided to read it myself.
and then i'll read it to the kids after the hobbit.

i have also been thumbing through taproot and
enjoying some of the pictures and articles.  i didn't subscribe,
but a beautiful friend sent me a copy after she read it,
and that was really,
truly,
a gift.

and so here we are,
loving these simple days,
reading,
creating and
just. being.

joining with ginny, yarning along