Wednesday

to wait

***an edited repost, because  i have no words as we prepare for baby these last few weeks. i share these words with you, wisdom from my husband which  i return to often***


And, behold, the LORD passed by, 
and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, 
and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; 
but the LORD was not in the wind: 
and after the wind an earthquake; 
but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
 12And after the earthquake a fire; 
but the LORD was not in the fire: 
and after the fire a still small voice.

1 Kings 19:11-12
A hush had fallen over the house,
children tucked into beds, 
I sitting, praying, nursing the littlest...

sounds of nature creeping in through the window,
rain pounding, wind howling, 
husband preparing for the next day of long work,
peace settling in...

Climbing into bed beside me, 
kissing the cheek of the nursing babe,
the cheek of the mama, his words soft and perfect...

"keep on loving me, keep on trusting me."
And the unexpected voicing of those words unleashes emotions from my tired mama soul,
"I do, I do... but I don't understand this season in our lives... what do you see that I don't?"

His gentleness continues as he speaks words I need to hear,
"I don't see anything,  I just know we are where we are supposed to be at this time, 
doing what we need to be doing..."

"Yes, but...  it's so hard..." 
And it is so hard, not knowing the next steps, just trusting God is working everything out,
and thinking the rest must be just around the bend,
but getting around that bend and seeing another storm...

Momentary silence, then... 
thunder shakes the house, I shake along with it letting out a quick gasp, and I am not used to this thunder...
it comes often, but my beach-front california girl self will not become complacent to this frequent washington rumbling...

Return to silence and stillness, 
the sounds of baby swallowing his mamas milk,  
and husband's love rolls off his tongue with words that spread a soothing ointment over me...

"remember when elijah was waiting for God?  and you remember He was not in the earthquake or the fire,
He was in the still small voice..  and I know, we all remember He was in the still small voice, 
but what people tend to forget is...

before the still small voice,
there was an earthquake
and there was a fire."

words resonate and i think they would knock me down if i were standing, and yes,
there was an earthquake
and a fire,
and then came
the still
small
voice,

and here I am in the fire,
and it is so hot,
sweat pouring off of me,
but i know,
I KNOW
that the still small voice WILL COME...
and i will wait,
earth shaking,
fire burning,
i
will
wait.



 

9 comments:

  1. You have been called to great things. Not too much longer, now, and it'll be the teeniest bit easier to breathe, at least.

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  2. So lovely and true. I needed to hear those words; thanks for sharing them.

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  3. I know I keep saying this, but I have to keep saying this. I love you.

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  4. Oh to read these words. My heart breaks along with you, your words have such power. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your life with us. Oh to be more like you, to have that bravery. You are often in my thoughts sweet friend.

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  5. How beautiful!! Can't wait to hear your news, Amy!!

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  6. Oh Amy, me too :)
    Sending love and more love :)
    xx

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  7. seasons of motherhood are overwhelming... find the white time that God provides daily... pray for it... and He'll give it to you... remember He give only as much as He know we can handle...

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  8. such power in the whisper of your words friend. i cannot wait to meet your baby.

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  9. Oh how I know that waiting. These are beautiful, beautiful words. They've shaken me right up - in that good, I needed to be reminded of that way. xo R

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