to hurt; to love

i'm tired and the days have been
and nothing has been accomplished,
and i burst into tears at random points throughout
the day,
like when i tear a whole in my shirt
i break down and
they won't stop flowing but
i didn't even like the shirt,
and when bread comes out of oven
tiny and barely risen
i cry an ocean,
but little does the bread matter,
and when artist child won't eat dinner i
have to leave the table and soak my pillow
with tears and
i don't even care
about any of it.

when hard times batter,
tears come at every opportunity,
and i feel like a punching bag
for emotions,
and sometimes i want to scream
or wake up
or never wake up
but he hugs me endlessly and
He holds me in arms
and they both whisper gently,
"this type of hurt is what happens
when you allow yourself to love."
and it is,
and i am okay with that
because then i get to love.

***sorry for being vague.  my heart is breaking for a dear friend, my tears are for her, but it's okay, i get to love.


  1. Oh, Amy. You are in my heart and mind so often. And I pray. Love you.

  2. hugs. love is a risk and sometimes it hurts and in walking through the pain it allows us to love all the more...nicely penned...

  3. "this type of hurt is what happens
    when you allow yourself to love."

    You've said it well. May we all keep loving, even in the hurts.

  4. Praying with you for her, and for you. Thank you for your heart tugging poetry.

  5. oh amy i feel like i know this, or at least my own version of this: the hurting, the squeeze of just the day, and the prayer-embrace from him and Him. oh, i lift you up right now for calming days or peace inside or even teary release.

  6. To love is to suffer both the greatest of joys and pains.
    You love well Amy. And I love you for it :)

  7. You love and your hurt because you have HIS heart, I praise God for that, though I know it hurts! Still thinking and praying for you (and them) sweet you!

  8. I'm so glad you have arms to hold you when these feelings come. Melt into them and trust. God is, indeed, good.

  9. oh my dear friend. you "get to love"... such a selfless way of looking at it. love you. praying.

  10. This is beautiful, and though I'm sorry you have tears, I'm glad for the beauty.

    It reminds me of that Switchfoot song, "if it doesn't break your heart it isn't love."

  11. This is beautiful..the opportunity to love is beautiful and knowing He is there through it all.. amazing. Thank you for sharing you heart.

  12. My thoughts are with you and your friend Amy, I hope the weekend brings lighter days and lighter hearts...

  13. Been thinking about you, and praying... xo