Sunday

to be loved

they wander and enjoy
the beauty made evident in
this season,
smells of hay mixed with
the baking of pies,
cinnamon,
apple,
brown sugar
causing them to crave sweet things and
auntie comes to make memories
with the young ones,
who cuddle up to her,
filling her with that overwhelming joy
that comes from
being loved

older children and
young ones alike
take part in those traditions which
auntie and their mama did so many years ago,
and God speaks in whispers,
wind breathing on neck,
as sun breaks through clouds,
peeking over hills which lead to ocean,
and as God reveals gifts that
only searching eyes will notice,
I too am filled with overwhelming joy
that comes from
being loved.

(those were gifts 709-733)




























(so hard to get a good picture of 6, with 4 pictures there's at least one good one of each... i hope.  just shows the beauty of so many)




Saturday

to create

another slow saturday,
more time spent
breathing,
reading,
knitting,
loving...

i am about half way through this simple baby blanket,
a gift for our newest baby girl who will be born around Christmas...


and beginning another skirt,
this one for hannah,
with the red material as the bottom layer
instead of the white


with the day wrapping up,
children playing together outdoors,
i am just about to stick a meatloaf in the oven.
couldn't resist sharing these pictures of the exhausted little man,
moses,
passed out on the living room floor...





 enjoy the rest of the weekend friends!

Friday

to feed... this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.


linking with amanda

Wednesday

to let light burst forth

when words are locked behind prison walls
and tears are all that flow from inside,
when prayers pour forth in that desperate form of
silence
and darkness is a seductive friend,
when sorrows reside within and all else is
shut out,
when tomorrow lives next door and you can
never
bring
yourself
to knock,
if the dark night of the soul seems to be a
a dark lifetime,
stand,
Then your light shall break forth like the morning,       
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,      
 And your righteousness shall go before you;       
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard





just keep walking,
with prayers of silence and
a steady diet of tears,
and He will follow,
light will burst forth.





Sunday

to see

Sunshine reflects off ocean in streams of glory,
shining through window of building where we meet
to worship and be together,
the body,
a mosaic of broken people
pieced together into beauty,
by Him.
Cool breeze chills bare arms
and all I see,
feel,
a reflection of Him and His grace...
wind blows, swaying fronds of palm trees
and He is breathing on me,
children voices pour into room from beach,
laughter, joy,
and He is loving,
the Good Shepherd,
rejoicing in His flock.
And we fellowship,
we pray,
and He is blessing us,
showering gifts upon us,
if only we would open our eyes,
and see...



695. sunlight reflecting off ocean, streams of glory
696. a chorus of little voices
697. slow days
698. sewing for little girls
699. the anticipation of meeting a funny ostrich this week
700. reading again healing, life giving words of her book
701. acorns covering the grass outside
702. new tire swings
703. getting closer
704. husband's care for me
705. children screaming with joy outside
706. provision that always comes
707. many children demanding my attention
708. being one broken piece in His mosaic


*repost, all but the gifts, those are newly counted, newly added*

Saturday

to share this day

determined to have a relaxed saturday,
children have been running careless through the house
spreading toys and joy wherever they go,
older children embarking on expeditions through the "woods",
becoming lost in books and
i have settled in to
 this day of peace
listening to john mark mcmillan ,
creating autumn in a place where it doesn't exist and
is still 80 degrees outside
with decoration,
and beginning christmas sewing,
using this pattern
to make this skirt for ruth.



and now the time for supper is upon us,
i am at a loss for what to make,
though i have had some great suggestions
from some marvelous friends,
but
breathing deeply for
joy lived today.

joining with amanda, weekending... 

Friday

to sleep... this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.


tire swing, best place for a nap

 linking with soulemama

Wednesday

to hurt; to love

i'm tired and the days have been
so
long
and nothing has been accomplished,
and i burst into tears at random points throughout
the day,
like when i tear a whole in my shirt
i break down and
they won't stop flowing but
i didn't even like the shirt,
and when bread comes out of oven
tiny and barely risen
i cry an ocean,
but little does the bread matter,
and when artist child won't eat dinner i
have to leave the table and soak my pillow
with tears and
i don't even care
about any of it.

when hard times batter,
tears come at every opportunity,
and i feel like a punching bag
for emotions,
and sometimes i want to scream
or wake up
or never wake up
but he hugs me endlessly and
He holds me in arms
and they both whisper gently,
"this type of hurt is what happens
when you allow yourself to love."
and it is,
and i am okay with that
because then i get to love.




***sorry for being vague.  my heart is breaking for a dear friend, my tears are for her, but it's okay, i get to love.


Sunday

to say i love you

***so yes, i'm in a somewhat nostalgic state of mind, thinking back on our marriage, our story, as our 10 year anniversary draws near... so here's another one about us, this one a repost***

we were young and in love,
soon to be married but not yet,
working at competing coffee shops in the same town.
early morning gray found us opening,
both arriving at our respective cafes at 5.
he knew i was awake, working across town,
and i was so aware of his morning work,
and with each other in mind we set about our tasks,
brewing black, setting out breakfast delight,
making a comforting, welcoming environment for the morning crowd.
the idea struck me quick when i saw the car and i knew i had but a moment.
i grab pen and paper, or rather pastry bag, the closest thing to paper i had nearby,
and write a short note.
in walks first visitor of the day, the bagel delivery man,
and i ask had he been to other cafes yet,
and he answered,
no, we were first stop.
so i give him young girl pleading look and ask,
please, would he deliver this folded note for me when he delivered bagels
across town.
he smiles, laughs, takes bag turned note in hand,
and drives away.
ten minutes later i can picture him,
tall, handsome, confused,
taking note from delivery man, unfolding bag and reading heart words,
"good morning!  i love you!  have a wonderful day.  love, your soon to be wife"
 shortly, phone rings, his voice makes heart swoon,
"i love you too. thanks.  that made me smile."


and i'm thinking on this, the ways we show love, the things we do,
while considering the many, countless ways He shows love to us...

682. my amazing husband, his beautiful love
683. my amazing God, His beautiful love
684. my dear precious friend and her strong, quiet spirit
685. N. H. B.- we love you
686. God who comforts
687. God who guides
688. God who loves
689. God who provides
690. a new oven!!!
691. baking pumpkin muffins in that new oven
692. the smells of autumn
693. cooler days, finally
694. the universe, in His hands

in all these ways, He is telling us He loves us,
these are His love notes, written on baggies, scribbled out amongst the heavens,
saying, simply, and amazingly, "I love you."

Friday

to finish her first.... this moment

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 



first knitting project accomplished.... hat for her new baby sister

linking with amanda 

Wednesday

to marry my stalker...

he was standing there, in line at the deli
and with just a glimpse i heard God so clearly
he,
the one in line,
would never be out of my life and
i,
18 years old with millions of dreams
brushed it off and went on.




food in hand, he sat in booth near me
calm, motionless
and i,
with friend
felt nerves rise and what was i to do
but hide them and how best to
dispose of the fear rising in me than to
make fun of that which caused my fear...
"look at that guy,"
i remark to dear friend,
"he's totally weird, just sitting there frozen."
(years later,
he tells me he was praying. and i repent,
sorry God for making fun of the praying guy.)


and finally he talks to me,
introducing himself as a christian,
new in town,
he saw our bibles and wanted to meet
some other christians,
and i,
wanting him to disappear,
put on my cheesy-how-nice-i-am-because-i-am-a-christian-and-i-should-be
smile,
tell him my name and where my church is,
feel i have done my duty,
and say goodbye.

forgetting him i move on,
trying to get back to MY christian friends,
MY christian culture,
MY christian life,
that he is clearly not a part of...
and then,
for the next week,
i proceed to run into him everywhere i go,
every day.
when he shows up at my church conference,
i smile and then look away.
when he walks up to my friends and i,
i introduce him and then
go find someone else to talk to.
and when one night
he walks with my friends into the cafe where i work,
i begin to hyperventilate,
i grab my best friend and tell him all about God speaking to me,
and how,
i know now what God meant...
this guy would be a huge part of my life because
he was going to
stalk me and kill me.

and i knew it was true...
it had to be...

until my stalker walks up to me,
looks me in the eyes and says,
"why are you so standoffish?"
and i,
never having been insulted in my life,
gasp,
then smile,
and say,
"i'm not.  i'm the nicest person ever,
everybody says so." and he,
large eyes shining,
responds,
"well, you may be the nicest person to everyone else,
but to a new guy in town
just looking for some christians to hang around with,
who only knows one person, and that person is you,
you certainly are very standoffish
and not very nice."

well i can't let him think that,
so i smile and say,
"no i really am nice.
want to hang out?"
and so we do,
after work,
and then every day for the next week.
until he walks into my work one night and
suddenly i know.
i look at my co-worker and
tell her,
"that's the guy i'm going to marry."

stars dancing overhead,
we sit and talk in to the
wee hours of the morning and
he catches my eye by the light of the moon,
quiet voice whispers,
"so, what's God telling you?"
and i just know it's time for me to say
what has been driving me crazy for
weeks...
"we're going to get married."
and he stares deep into my eyes
and responds, simply,
"yeah."

and so,
4 months later,
4 and a half months after we met,
we exchanged vows in small church,
and God reminded me,
he,
the one in line,
would never be out of my life.


at the beginning of november it will be ten years,
and i haven't stopped thanking God
for giving me my stalker to marry.