Tuesday

to find laughter

We laugh now, but once there was no laughter.
I can't blame him, he was just a little boy, and he never knew the love of a mama.
He was six when I met him, scrawny little thing, biggest smile ever.
First thing he asked me, "Are you going to be my mom?"
And I was, so I said, "yes."
He was glad, that smile lit up his face, and he said, "it's about time I got one."
And it was. about time.

Soon after we were married came his cries.
He would yell, throw things, break his toys, there was so. much. anger.
I was only nineteen, in so many ways a child myself, and I knew nothing about what to do,
only that I should love him,
and so I did.
But I don't think I loved him well enough.
At least not at first.  And it was so hard, and I tried to hang on when he screamed at the top of his lungs
in the middle of the night, punching walls, and I would think,
how? he's just a little boy.

So angry,
this little boy.  Born when his father and biological mother were just fifteen.
Abandoned by the mother, a devoted father who would do anything for him, but still a child himself,
working full time to support him.  Never knowing the love of a mama or the stability of a family.
He was so angry.
And now here we were, and I knew it wasn't his fault, and I was desperate to love him,
to rescue him but
I didn't know how.


Oh, it took time. Years.  It took heartache and bad choices, desperate cries, broken days, but finally we gave up, let go... by letting Him take care of it.

And we no longer fought the anger, we just turned to Him.  Taking His Word to the boy in need, telling him we loved him and realized his struggle, acknowledging we had no answers but Jesus did.  Giving him the Word, leaving him to be with Him.  And slowly, he calmed down.  Young boy, growing ever older, was given the tools to find Peace.  Nothing we did helped him, until we turned him over to the Shepherd of our souls, the One always waiting to draw His beloved to Him.

We were weak and weary, as was he, and only His words of hope brought life to us.
He holds the answer for all,
even for the angry young boy who just wants love.
It took us a long time,
but we laugh now.  We laugh a lot.  Most of the time, here, we are laughing.

7 comments:

  1. I adopted my husband's son when he was six, after coming into his life when he was 2 1/2. He called me "mama" the first time we met and I have loved him fiercely ever since. It has NOT been an easy road...I admire you for being the mom this little boy needs. It is a hard job but so worth it! My son turns 18 on the 30th and is a senior in high school and my heart sings that I had the privilege of being his mama.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow. What a powerful story. So thankful that you had Him to turn to. I pray His richest blessings on you and your son and family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful. Thank God for the laughter :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is just so beautiful. Thank you for this story today, which fills me with hope and encouragement. Oh the deep, deep love of Christ, to transform and heal. You're so right that nothing but our precious Lord can change any of us.

    (((you))) Praying for you and your children today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This makes me understand – these are really golden words, “Oh, it took time. Years. It took heartache and bad choices, desperate cries, broken days, but finally we gave up, let go... by letting Him take care of it.” I can see God saying it of me – and bless his heart – He did “take care of it”. Loved this !!!

    God Bless and keep you Amy,
    and His face shine upon you…
    and all of yours.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my! What a moving story. We have two adopted sons and some days are still hard! Your story is encouraging and leaves me with a lot to think about.

    Blessings,
    Janis

    ReplyDelete
  7. I already liked you, Amy, but now I admire you.

    ReplyDelete