I can't blame him, he was just a little boy, and he never knew the love of a mama.
He was six when I met him, scrawny little thing, biggest smile ever.
First thing he asked me, "Are you going to be my mom?"
And I was, so I said, "yes."
He was glad, that smile lit up his face, and he said, "it's about time I got one."
And it was. about time.
Soon after we were married came his cries.
He would yell, throw things, break his toys, there was so. much. anger.
I was only nineteen, in so many ways a child myself, and I knew nothing about what to do,
only that I should love him,
and so I did.
But I don't think I loved him well enough.
At least not at first. And it was so hard, and I tried to hang on when he screamed at the top of his lungs
in the middle of the night, punching walls, and I would think,
how? he's just a little boy.
this little boy. Born when his father and biological mother were just fifteen.
Abandoned by the mother, a devoted father who would do anything for him, but still a child himself,
working full time to support him. Never knowing the love of a mama or the stability of a family.
He was so angry.
And now here we were, and I knew it wasn't his fault, and I was desperate to love him,
to rescue him but
I didn't know how.
"28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Oh, it took time. Years. It took heartache and bad choices, desperate cries, broken days, but finally we gave up, let go... by letting Him take care of it.
And we no longer fought the anger, we just turned to Him. Taking His Word to the boy in need, telling him we loved him and realized his struggle, acknowledging we had no answers but Jesus did. Giving him the Word, leaving him to be with Him. And slowly, he calmed down. Young boy, growing ever older, was given the tools to find Peace. Nothing we did helped him, until we turned him over to the Shepherd of our souls, the One always waiting to draw His beloved to Him.
We were weak and weary, as was he, and only His words of hope brought life to us.
He holds the answer for all,
even for the angry young boy who just wants love.
It took us a long time,
but we laugh now. We laugh a lot. Most of the time, here, we are laughing.