to break the circle

he holds me and i remember days gone by
when i was young and naive
but knew
Truth and beauty,
and when others told me i was foolish
i knew we were right.
they filled me with religious jargon,
telling me i was finding the love of the world
that i was not following God.
and i kept myself away from them and
their biting stares,
their behind my back prayers for me to
stop following the world's ways,
to seek God again,
when i was actually seeking Him more
than ever before.
i knew His voice,
followed His leading,
they just didn't like where it lead,
so they reasoned,
it must not be from Him.

and whispers are like knives
when you know they are about you
and smiles tear apart souls when
you know the thoughts behind them,
and how can we be one body,
in one accord,
when we rip people apart who don't follow
our ideas of right.

none of us have the right idea of right,
only He knows right,
and we need Him.

there is no good apart from Him,
no truth removed,
and when we think we understand it all,
have the proper formula down,
that's when we are walking closer to them
than Him.

and i think He mourns when He watches us,
His children,
bickering and whispering,
"praying" for each other heartless, insincere prayers,
"knowing" our ways are the only way,
and He speaks it,
"remember, My way is the only way."
but we are condemning too loudly to 
hear His voice

and it happened to me
and i cried,
why don't they see i know Him,
i am following Him,
this is what He wants me to do,
and i was bitter and sad,
and yet,
watch me bleed out repentance,
for i have done it too,
whispered and prayed
for those not following my ways,
and it's a sick circle,
and Lord please help us break it


  1. oh, AMEN! i look back at my life and cringe at my own "wisdom". HA! thanks for putting it all so bluntly.

  2. WoW I feel like you described what I am going through right now PERFECTLY! In this season we are not worshiping in building and many say we have left God yet for the first time in a long time we see Him and hear Him. This is the place we are to be right now in this season. Will we be here forever, hopefully not but we will stay until He moves us on. Keep following Him friend, you wont regret it!

  3. Amy this is so true and of desperate need to be faced by all of us...."to break the circle"....thank you for sharing this. :-)

  4. yeah i get this...i travel to the beat of a bit different drum...but i know i am not the one playing it....yes lets break it...

  5. I think He mourns, too, and what we do to one another. I feel your pain, and I know it well. Thanks for sharing :)

  6. This speaks to all of us. And, it does it beautifully.

  7. oh amen! I want a softer heart that does not judge or condemn, but listens and prays.

    like you, i've been condemned a sinner for following God. It's been hard on my faith and sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy or if I heard wrong. But...I keep seeing Spirit-fruit in my life so perhaps I did hear right..but the condemnation is driving me crazy.

  8. Sounds like we played variations on a theme this week. Love this post. I have been both victim and aggressor in this game, and I wish I had never been either.

  9. Oh yes I know the feeling. Sadly, as often as not, I end up doing what others want instead of what my soul tells me is right. I so respect you for the perspective you have here.

  10. whoa! So true for me on both ends of the spectrum. Help us, Jesus.

  11. wow. this really hit home. thank you.

  12. none of us have the right idea of right,
    only He knows right,
    and we need Him.

    amen, amen, amen. xo

  13. Breaking the circle. Yes. I've been there. Wished. Prayed.