Tuesday

to be a mama

i knew we would be married
from the moment i
saw him,
standing in line at the deli,
and i was afraid
so i made fun of him to
my friend,
and tried to forget about him
until he appeared
constantly
everywhere i was,
and i told my friends
this crazy guy was
stalking me and would most likely
kill me.

then one day he called me out
and told me
i was standoffish and
rude,
and i couldn't let him think that
so i said,
"no i'm not.  let's hang out."
and we did.

and a week later he wanted to know
what God was telling me,
and as casually as if i were revealing
what type of ice cream i wanted
i said,
"we're going to
get married."
and he simply responded,
"yeah."

four months after we met,
we were married.
i was 19,
he 21 and
along with him came
six year old boy
with cutest smile ever
hiding a broken heart.
(yes,
that means i am
only 12 years older
than him)
born when my husband
was
fifteen,
biological mother signed over
custody and he became
single father,
dropped out of school,
working full time,
doing all he could but
little boy was
so
lonely...

and now here i was,
19,
a mother to the motherless,
trying desperately to love him
not knowing how to heal his hurt,
and he loved me,
and hated me,
and hugged me,
and yelled at me,
and ran to me,
and ran away,
and i tried,
and cried out,
"Lord help me love him
right,"
and time went by
slowly
and
slowly
He healed...

fifteen years old now,
the age husband was when
he was born,
fifteen years old now,
he calls me mom,
i
am
his
mom
and His beauty resonates in
his young life,
ready for whatever the Lord
gives him
and i sit back and watch,
in awe of him,
of all He has done in him,
and so in love...

ian and newborn brother, moses

written for  random acts of poetry's writing prompt:
write a poem to, or in honor of, an orphan, someone you know who has adopted one, or your own adopter.

5 comments:

  1. this made me cry...what a beautiful, gorgeous story...your husband. you. HIM FULL in your midst. honestly, just so beautiful...

    i think we've 'met' before...at emily's?

    anyhow, found you through your link to the high calling...this is my link:

    http://findtheflametofan.blogspot.com/2011/01/till-lighted-song-rises.html

    but, just, thanks. thanks for this.

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  2. Wow. Just wow. How many times do I start my comments to you that way? As the mother of a teen son, I get the I-love-you-I-hate-you dynamic. Sounds like grace has triumphed in truly amazing ways in your family. Thanks be to God!

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  3. :) love this! it's so amazing How God works!?

    :)

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  4. This is a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing with us.

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  5. Your blog header grabs me....what a beautiful post

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