to make a marriage last

"do you know what love is?"
and i smirk,
haughtily thinking what kind of a stupid question
is that,
and he looks at me with those eyes,
those eyes,
and i realize it's not a joke,
not a stupid question,
he is serious,
and maybe there is a reason for the question
so i grasp for words and
babble about good feelings and care,
and i'm only a new christian but i know that somewhere
in the Bible
it says something about
God being love,
so i tell him that.

as he looks at me,
i can tell i missed the point,
and he says,
"yes, God is love,
but what does that mean?
what does that mean for us,
in our marriage?"
we were soon to be married,
and to me that meant
romance, companionship,
someone to care about you,
but i could tell,
to him,
it was so much more,
and i wanted to understand because,
i knew,
that was a good thing.

finding me speechless,
a very hard thing to do,
the lover of words,
always one to speak up,
to voice an opinion,
even when i shouldn't,
but here,
in this moment,
i had no words.

he saw my ignorance,
my wonder,
and answered,
"when you love someone
your concern is not what they can do for you,
or how they make you feel,
it's what can you do for them,
how you make them feel."
i look up at him,
i know he feels this for me,
his consideration for me pours out of him
like beautiful melodies flow from
a symphony,
and i bite my lip,
searching young soul,
can i love like this?

and nine years,
six children later,
his words resonate in my head daily,
as he constantly shows his love for me,
seeking to fill my needs before his own,
and i limp along,
learning, slowly,
to love
as he has told me,
shown me,
as He has told me,
shown me,
and his words are so dear to me,
for they are what make a marriage last,
a family flourish,
learning to truly love.

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

written a few weeks ago, but linking today with ann...



  1. well put.

    love the highlighted part,
    loving means giving..
    have fun!

  2. Amy -- I was so moved by this poem, so moved by the learning and the loving that happens in a marriage. I am single, but I hope to love this way someday. You have given me inspiration to do that here.

    I am trying to connect more with other High Calling bloggers, so I am going out, finding a post I love, then going back to my blog to write about it. I picked your beautiful post today to write about and link up with.

  3. beautiful, both this post and the two of you together.

    i'm so glad i stopped by.


  4. Charity sent me over to enjoy this beautiful, shy, honest love story.

    My husband loves through serving, looking out for the interests of others, not just his own. And I, like you, "limp along,/learning, slowly,/to love."

  5. Wait till you get to 37 years and you realize love is much deeper and much different than in the beginning.
    The years will pass, the children will grow and marry and have children of their own. Hold tight to what you have now. For the legacy is who you are in your love for each other. They are watching you and 'hoping and praying' you will always love each other. (From a middle aged grandma of six).

  6. Great post, Amy. Your husband is not only a great guy - he's a wise one, too. (Came via Char Singleton's post).

  7. What a wonderful gift--to know this kind of love. And what a blessing that after nine years, you still remember these words. They are probably more true than ever after 5 children! Thank you for sharing this, Amy. I came over from Charity's today too.

  8. After fifteen and a half years of marriage, I'm still learning this. Thanks for putting it so well. Love IS about putting another's need before your own. And without Christ, for me there would simply be no way. :)

  9. I'm going to share this with my 18 year old daughter, so she knows for sure what to look for in a husband. Beautiful!

  10. Oops. That was me in the last comment

  11. charity- thanks so much for including me.

    nic, ann, jingle, thank you for your kind words. sometimes i am surprised when the mess of words in my mind come out right!

  12. thoughts- beautiful, 37 years, congratulations. can't wait to be there!

    glynn- thank you! i tell my husband he's wise all the time, but he merely says, 'there are many things i'm not that i should be.' :) i think he's great.

    laura- these words do stick, i think of them all the time and include them in my prayers as a wife and mama.

  13. dena-
    we learn together, and His example is the best one. thank you!

    bradley- thanks so much! i hope these words can speak to your daughter.

  14. I love the quiet strength of your words.

  15. jodi- thank you my friend. your kindness strengthens me.

  16. I've been reading your blog for a few months now. . . . you write beautifully from your beautiful heart. Thank you for sharing and putting into words so many of the emotions and faith that grow from your experiences. I often see my younger self in your words. Enjoy your family. You are a joy to pray for.

  17. carolyn-
    thank you so much! it's so nice to *meet* you! thank you for prayers.

  18. Lovely post.

    And five babies in nine years? That's very cool.

  19. very beautiful poem, it really spoke to me and it is so true. We will be married for nine years this year, and we will be having our 6th baby. God bless you!