Wednesday

to dance with the crazy kids

 ***food to make, house to clean, children to read with, not much time to write today,
        but i want to link with you my friends, so i have reposted this...***


the door buzzed loudly,
a hundred swarms of bees in one place,
buzzing simultaneously
and in walked a dozen people,
all of whom i ignored,
sitting on the raggedy stained carpet,
facing the dingy white walls

there was no one at that door for me,
i was alone,
while the other kids visited family and friends
i sat and let sadness
seep from me,
melting into the floor beneath me
mine would have come,
but they were hours away,
and so i was alone

this night was excrutiating,
dwelling on thoughts of my friends,
being pampered and dressed
as lovely as they ever had,
and i picture my dress, black and gold,
flowing, beautiful,
my mama and i picked it
special for tonight,
my senior prom,
and it sat,
hundreds of miles away,
tucked in my closet,
never to be worn,
and here i sat,
on this ragged stained carpet,
facing the dingy wall,
while others were visited,
and i was alone
in an adolescent psychiatric hospital...

listening to the joyful voices,
lost in thoughts of what i was missing,
my world spinning around inside my
mental head,
tears falling,
i hear my name,
"amy"
breaking through my state
of depression

slowly i turn to see
jason,
another patient,
holding a stunning bouquet of
deep red roses,
and he holds them out to me,
smiles sheepishly and says,
"happy senior prom"
i too stunned to move,
he places them in my arms
telling me he asked his aunt to buy them
for me...
for me

and two other patients open a cupboard
and get out a hospital gown,
draping it over my shoulders,
"it's your gown"
they say,
and a radio is turned on,
and there we are,
a dozen crazy kids,
dancing,
though without touching,
for we are not allowed to touch each other,
in tattered old hospital gowns
and i am crying and laughing,
i am so happy and
so sorrowful,

but these kids,
this messed up bunch of teenagers,
came together for me,
and gave me a prom
like no other

after lights out,
i peered out the door at the nurses station,
at my beautiful roses,
the first i had ever received,
not allowed to come in my room,
for we all know
roses have thorns,
and apparently i could have
cut myself with them...

now i see me,
i see them,
and i know we were just
a bunch of kids
needing
Jesus,
He bled for us,
we didn't need to make ourselves
bleed...


13 comments:

  1. oh this breaks my heart and tears crest...I'm so thankful you let Him heal

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  2. This may be the first post of yours I ever read, the one that made me decide to follow you. Loved it the first time. Love it still. Jesus heals the broken. It's true. And He does it in surprising, crazy ways. Love you.

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  3. Amy, I remember reading this before, and as I get to know you (via the computer, that is), I am so amazed at how wonderful God is, and what a beautiful person you are.

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  4. Thank you for re-posting this so I could have the chance to read it. I am awed by your story.

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  5. that is beautiful...love these little moemnts when they get it...when they do something so special...keeps me doing what i do...

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  6. Wow, this is stunning. Thank you for your honesty.

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  7. i'd never read this. and it's so raw and so beautiful and an exact picture of christ among the broken. i'm so thankful to have met and to peek into this portion of your story, friend.

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  8. Amy,
    I am grasping for words to tell you what this post means to me. I can't really tell you because it would tell a story not mine to tell. But let me say that this post, lined up right next to your "About Me" gives me such joy in seeing how God moved you from then to now! Thank you is too little to say, but it's what I have.

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  9. amy
    this is so poignant.
    i am thrown for words
    i'm always so glad to read your posts
    for the rawness of them
    and i love the Jesus in you.
    i'm so glad jason was there.
    it broke my heart that you were alone.

    love you.
    e.

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  10. ps. i would LOVE for you to have a print of the painting. let me know what your hubby says :) e.

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  11. i have tears over the pain and the beauty. your writing is so beautiful, so poignant. the rawness makes the beauty even brighter.

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  12. thank you for your transparency!

    :) hindsight is great huh?

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  13. I'm new to Imperfect Prose, so I'm so glad you reposted this and I didn't miss reading it. I'm always so thankful for opportunities to see the healing that can only come from Jesus. Thank you.

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