To awaken

To awaken from this self-induced coma,
to crawl out from this shell which I hid under,
alone with my thoughts,
my prayers,
my hopes...

when hopes entangle us in a land of false reality,
always waiting for fulfillment to come,
not able to live in the moment,
dreaming of that which may be,
but may not be...

and my eyes have been glued to house listings
on computer screens
while beautiful children play behind me,
their sing song voices and delightful laughter
calling to me,
but my shell is hard over me
and i can't look away,
i just might find the one...
the place to call home,
away from here,
there where i want to be... 

my home, and i knew if i visited i would no longer be content here...
but the kids giggle and play,
and crack my shell,
and I see their angelic faces
and remember the words which I must hold fast to,
to be content, whatever the circumstances...

even if here we remain,
or if we move to my home, the place I love,
or if God has another land for us to call home,
if the cupboard is full,
if it is empty,
when the sun shines down,
and when the sky showers us with rain...
to be content

and I may not live in my earthly paradise,
I may be away from friends and family,
but I have a husband that loves me without question,
and six beautiful faces that smile at me and make my heart swoon
like a little school girl with her first crush...
and I look out the window at the rain pouring down,
and remember,
"God's in His heaven, all's right with the world."  -Robert Browning


  1. It IS hard to be content in our circumstances, sometimes, isn't it? I struggle with that, too. But you've expressed some very good reasons to pull you in that direction...and I guess that readjusting our thinking is a part of everyday faith, everyday living with God. Hoping He provides you with good things to fulfill you each day, while you wait upon Him for your hopes and dreams...

  2. The scene and process you describe is right where I have lived for the last 6 months. Knowing, dreaming, believing now is the time to follow our hearts' desire and move. And in faith continuing to live daily, receiving His good gifts and not obsessing, but rather peacefully waiting for His lead and provision . . content. Thank you for the encouragement. Praying with you.

  3. amy... i yearn for this with you. and i wonder... do i have too much? because isn't it harder to be content, the more things we have? and how can i NOT see what i have? oh, Lord, give us eyes... this is a beautiful post. a prayerful one. i'm uttering it as i bow low tonight. love to you, friend. e.

  4. "to be content, whatever the circumstances" that needs to be my prayer too. thank you.

  5. This is really beautiful, Amy. While I pray you are content, I'll also pray for God to answer the desires of your heart.