Wednesday

to wait

And, behold, the LORD passed by, 
and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, 
and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; 
but the LORD was not in the wind: 
and after the wind an earthquake; 
but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
 12And after the earthquake a fire; 
but the LORD was not in the fire: 
and after the fire a still small voice.

1 Kings 19:11-12
A hush had fallen over the house,
children tucked into beds, 
I sitting, praying, nursing the littlest...

sounds of nature creeping in through the window,
husband preparing his things for the next day of long work,
peace settling in...

Climbing into bed beside me, 
kissing the cheek of the nursing babe,
the cheek of the mama, his words soft and perfect...

"keep on loving me, keep on trusting me."
And the unexpected voicing of those words unleashes emotions from my tired mama soul,
"I do, I do... but I don't understand this season in our lives... what do you see that I don't?"

His gentleness continues as he speaks words I need to hear,
"I don't see anything,  I just know we are where we are supposed to be at this time, 
doing what we need to be doing..."

"Yes, but...  it's so hard..." 
And it is so hard, not knowing the next steps, just trusting God is working everything out,
and thinking the rest must be just around the bend, but getting around that bend and seeing another storm...

Momentary silence, then... 
thunder shakes the house, i shake along with it letting out a quick gasp, and I am not used to this thunder...
it comes often, but my beach-front california girl self will not become complacent to this frequent washington rumbling...

Return to silence and stillness, 
the sounds of baby swallowing his mama love milk,  
and husband's love rolls off his tongue with words that spread a soothing ointment over me...

"remember when elijah was waiting for God?  and you remember He was not in the earthquake or the fire,
He was in the still small voice..  and i know, we all remember He was in the still small voice, 
but what people tend to forget is...

before the still small voice,
there was an earthquake
and there was a fire."

words resonate and i think they would knock me down if i were standing, and yes,
there was an earthquake and a fire,
and then came the still small voice,

and here I am in the fire, 
and the still small voice WILL COME...
and i will wait.
holy experience





3 comments:

  1. i, too, am blown away by your husband's wisdom, breathed quiet, and i find myself in a time of waiting, waiting for peace and a quiet voice, and my soul is all quake right now. i was also reminded of god-breathed word this week, and it is good to know.

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  2. Your writing speaks straight to my heart. My eyes tears.
    I know the earthquake and I know the fire. The whisper is much harder to hear, to notice.
    Beautiful post!

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  3. i'm walking with you, friend. and listening too, to the quiet unknown... he knows us. he loves us. he is. xo

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